From the album Lee Brothers (NSFW)

Lyrics

On March 16 on a farm in Tennessee
A star above a stable shined on bright for all to see
An immaculate conception brought the south onto her knees
When Wilbur’s mule was born that day in 1863

As he grew up we smell’t the gasses from inside
Any time the children saw that mule they’d run and hide
It wasn’t very often that Wilbur had a friend
The children they all ran away from that putrid stinky end

Every evening that mule began to blast
Any time that Wilbur fed him beans that mule got gas
One day he mixed an egg with beans and killed a little child
When general lee heard of the mule he had a weapon on his mind

Wilbur’s mule – farts and drools – makes a scene – he’s so serene
Wilbur’s mule – runny stools – pollutes the air – he’s savoir-faire

The stage was set to bring the mule into the war
General Lee provided beans and eggs and a giant cork
The plan was all so simple it became a litany
To take the mule behind the lines and set the gases free

Wilbur took his friend to the Yankees side at night
Tied him to an oak and pulled the cork with all his might
The mule began to flatulate and Wilbur said a prayer
May the wind be blowing to the north and send the Yankees straight to hell

The wind was south and southern men all died
The Yankees they had all all won the war and southern women cried
The mule an Wilbur well, they both survived and found a brand new home
The Yankees let them live up north because they won the civil war

Wilbur’s mule – farts and drools – makes a scene – he’s so serene
Wilbur’s mule – runny stools – pollutes the air – he’s savoir-faire
Wilbur’s mule – farts and drools – makes a scene – he’s so serene
Wilbur’s mule – runny stools – pollutes the air – he’s savoir-faire